sometimes it's hard to live

do you ever have trouble remembering why

you should b r e a t h e ?

do you ever fight to take a breath

because your   h e a r t  keeps asking is it really worth it?

do you choke over a response

when someone asks "how are you?"

and get so caught up in the lie of

i ' m  f i n e


that you forget to ask them back?



sometimes... its hard to live


its hard to remember what makes life


w o r t h   i t .



i'm here to tell you,

that lie that everyone tells you

to get you to calm down

at least, it feels like a lie

like a promise that no one can keep

like opening your lungs to breathe under water 

only to find that 

there was no air to breathe 

its gonna be okay 

because i know it feels bleak

God, I know it feels like you're never going to get out 

of this pit of darkness

i know it feels like your life isn't worth it anymore 

but please. please.  s t a y  

you will never be able to return 

if you turn your back 

on life now 

waves come and then go 

rain clouds dry of rain 

you will wash up on shore 

coughing up water

gasping for breath

you will be exhausted 

you will be soaked through 

and dirty 

and cold

you will never be the same.

but you will be alive. 

the storm will pass,

and as you cough out salt water from your lungs, 

and as you suck in breaths of the cold morning air 

remember 

that you were worth fighting for 

that every second of pain 

built up to this moment 

when you would be free 

and you would feel wind in your hair and the sun on your skin and the grass under your feet 

and know 

that you did it 

you made it 

you won the war for your life 

the darkness did not 

i know it feels like 

you're losing the battle

right now,

and i know 

its hard to exist sometimes

so don't make it complicated

don't worry if you can't do everything

you want to do

for now, breathe

allow yourself

to just

b r e a t h e 

my face when - THE LEGO MOVIE EDITION (feat. me fangirling and being a nuisance)

OKAY SO I had some other ideas 

but hey this was fun so here ya go. Hope you enjoy!!!  

(yeah yeah yeah I know I didn't post yesterday, but we're just gonna overlook that ok) 

My Face When I remember I have a blog and I haven't posted in 8 months 

(i'm sorry ok what else can i say T_T ) 

My Face When I actually like my outfit today!!

(its so rare?? like wha?? BUT I LOOK GOOD OK) 

My Face When I just realized that I can kill off that character that I really really love and make all my favourite authors PROUD OF ME 

... also my face: 

(but like... I love them.)

(queen watevra): My Face When I just told a realllyyy good joke and I'm waiting for everyone to get it

(batman): everyone else

My Face When I enter a library 

('nuff said)

My Face When I accidentally broke my dad's favourite mug 

My Face When I just got new sunglasses and I feel so cool now omg

My Face When we're taking a group photo

(I'm the guy with black stuff around his eyes right behind Emmet) 

My Face When I'm explaining my new story idea
(it was a very dramatic scene, okay)

My Face When my friend has a new haircut and I can't decide if she's serious when she asks me to tell her honestly if I like it

(my siblings and I) Our Faces When we're quoting movies/books and laughing loudly and then we remember we have company... and they have noo idea what we're talking about

My Face As I walked into the movie theatre to see The Lego Movie 2

My Face in the middle of watching The Lego Movie 2

My Face as I left the movie theatre after watching the Lego Movie 2 

My Face When people tell me The Lego Movie 2 isn't the greatest movie of all time (right up there with the original) 

My Face When I'm arguing with my siblings and I need to get the last words in.

My Face When I'm at the library and I found another book that looks AMAZING 

(stop looking at my stack of 11 books with those judgey eyes I WILL too read them all) 

My Face When I get a new story idea without even TRYING 

(cue me not writing it for 3456 years) 

Well thats all I can come up with, sorry its not the best one I've ever done hahahaha.. ha. *hides*  ALSO for those who read it and were confused as to why there were some blank ones.. well, blame me last night at midnight trying to finish this and me this morning thinking I did finish this and me right now realizing  I really didn't finish it.  

thanks Ellie 

SO YES I'm back but we're working on better content, okay? 

still need a new sign off

-me

oh wait, I have a blog?

*chuckles nervously*

okay okay I know what you're thinking  "oh wait, she exists??" and BELIEVE ME I'M CONFUSED TOO but hey hello hi I exist and guess what?

yeah I'm gonna try to get back into blogging hahaha we'll see how this goes. I'm going to try and write a bunch of posts and schedule them for wednesdays since I like those days, and see how long this lasts, shall we? Also, remember like a thousand years ago when I told you guys to ask me questions and I would do a Q and A? welllllllll yeah okay ask me them again and lets do it for real this time huh? Feel free to go CRAZY with the questions! The more random and quirky the better!

also, pleaseee link your blog in your comments so I can catch up on all of your posts, my inbox is clogged with so much junk that I can hardly tell what is who and where is when!!! (what are you talking about I make all the sense) thanks, lovessss <33333


Okay that's all I need sleep now

i need a new sign off

-esther