Entry 15

5/23/2017

I’m supposed to be organizing the bookshelf as my after supper job.

It's a mess. Maybe if I make the kids take care of their own books and stop looking at it, it will magically clean itself up?

“Aaanniieeee!!!?!” I yell.

“Guys!” Bridget wails, her tone rising in pitch. “Help!”

“What is it?” I ask.

“There’s a daddy-long-leg on my wall!” She says.

“Oh good grief, just get rid of it.” I say, annoyed.

“I can’t!” She whines

“Then find someone else who will!”

She shudders. “Beeeckyyyyy??!?”

“Bridget, I let daddy-long-legs crawl on me arm!” Rachel informs her. “I let tarantulas- well, not tarantulas. But I let bugs crawl on my arm!”

“I’m not you!” Bridget protests.

I go back to the bookshelf. It's still a mess.

I'll do it later.

I go to my bed to finish math instead.

“I remember Abi never liked spiders.” Peter says, passing through. “It was the only thing I could do to scare her.” He laughs. Then: “Hey where’s the mosquito stuff? I just had it out!”

I shrug and return to decimals.

Ew.

Decimals were invented by bored old men who used to be presidents.

They wanted to leave calling cards for their unwilling successors to remember them by.

Except no one remembers them now because decimals are so complicated and boring everyone is too busy sleeping or banging their heads on trees to pay attention.

And thus the Society of Concerned Tree Lovers was born and all math abolished until the end of time,

The End.

“Oh yeah the mosquito stuff is in the window sill!” I yell at Peter.

“Which one?”

“The one closest to the kitchen I think!”

“Oh yeah, I see it.”

“Sorry for losing your charger.” Isaac exclaims in a moderate tone.

Ish.

“You didn’t lose it, it was upstairs!”

Isaac opens his mouth and eyes wide. He actually looks cute

BUT DON’T YOU DARE TELL HIM I SAID THAT.

“I don't know how it got up there. I didn't do it,”

“I didn't do it either!” He exclaims.

“I know. And thanks, Izy” (pronounced eye-zee) “for letting me beat you up! It was the highlight of my day.” (don't worry, I didn't actually beat him up. mostly. I'll let you figure it out)

He lean against the bed with an air of self-importance.

“You're welcome.” He says.

(The following is a snippet of conversation from my siblings. If you can understand it, you have earned my undying respect.)

“Ask you may I please. Okay I did it!” Isaac whines.

“Can you ask me to waeheaha!”

“Werherherherheeeeeer!” Isaac whinily exclaims.

“Can you ask me to waeheaha?” Bridget says.

It goes on like this for a looong day.

“Ophelia you are a skug! You know how to escape from our legs now.” Rachel says.

“Yeah Cyrano is a skug too!” Exclaims Isaac.

“You kitty-cat! She’s falling asleep!” She pulls the cat into a standing position with her paws. “Believe! I know it sounds like a kitty poster, but it’s true.” She says

I literally LOL.

“What?” Rachel demands.

“You actually quoted that.” I laugh.

Something hard bumps my arm and flies into the yellow bowl.

Cyrano promptly tries to eat it, and it flies away.

It bumps around the room quite a bit before landing on Becky's arm and Peter notices it.

He kills it.

“Peter, can we play the Peter Game?” Isaac asks (in exclamation).

“No.”

“Hey Esther, can we play the Esther game?” He ask.

“Nuh uh.”

“Its called the Womans Game.” Bridget says.

“Hey Esther can we play-”

“You mean the Daddy Game?” I ask.

“Yeah!”

“Women can’t play the Daddy Game, only Daddy’s.”

“Then play the extended version!” Bridget yells brightly.

“No.”

“How about the Game Esther Plays With the Twerps?!”

“No.”

“Anne what are you doing?” Peter asks.

“Getting ready the movie mom said we could watch.” Anne replies.

“Are you grumpy?” He asks

“No,” Anne says, in a normal voice.

“Are they done talking yet?”

“No.” She says in a grumpy voice. “I didn’t hear everything they were talking about. Why does this top one not work?!”

“Because it's cheap and terrible like everything in Nicaragua.” Peter jokes. “Including this family. Just kidding.”

He and Anne laugh.

Entry 13

5/19/2017

(Note: No animals or ears were harmed in the writing of this entry…

Mostly…)

(also, this is more of a collection of random events from the day instead of a story)

I frantically write down the story idea I just got from my dream.

“I’m Jess, pleased to meet you.” He says, sticking out his hand.

“Pleased to meet you too.” Alisha says, and smiles slightly. His hand is cool, he has a firm grip. His fingers are long- just like the rest of his limbs. Heavens he’s tall.

Mira smiles sweetly,

“Well, I think-” her phone starts ringing. It's the theme song from Poldark. “Sorry guys.” She says and then walks a few feet away and starts talking into her phone.

“Hey Brody! I-”

Jess clears his throat, and Alisha turns her gaze up up up to his face, letting Mira fade into the background.

Alisha pushes her bangs behind her ear and hopes this isn’t as awkward for Jess as it is for her. She bites her bottom lip and makes her eyes go wide and loop around the room just for something to do.

Jess laughs outright.

“I know, right?” He says genially. “I don't know what to say either.”

I am just getting back to my prayer time when I look up at Annie on her bunk bed. She is grabbing Ophelia by the scruff of her neck.

“Anne!” I yell, “Be nice to Ophelia!”

She looks at me and says,

“She needs to know that we- that us- that the Eckstine's are bosses, not cats.” She leans in close to Ophelia’s face.

“We’re the boss!” She says. “Okay, Ophelia? We’re the bosses!”

“Anne, it's like Fin: ‘I'm in charge now! I'm in charge, Phasma, I'm in charge!’” I laugh.

She shakes Ophelia gently,

“Yeah Ophelia, I'm in charge now!” Then she sets her down on the barstool by the bed on the floor.

As Anne passes gets down and passes me, I hold my breath and pretend to be dead.

She doesn't notice.

“Anne! I was being dead over here and you didn't he notice!”

“Oh.” She says over her shoulder. “Woops.”

“I do that a lot. I just pretend to be dead. If I really died just randomly you guys wouldn't notice for 24 hours.” I observe somewhat blithely.

“I know!” Anne says.

“No, nachamama! Nachamama, Ophelia! Hey, will you be still, or do  have to hold you and kiss you. And call you Ophelia?”

Ophelia mews.

“Okay! I guess I have to hold you and kiss you and call you Ophelia.” I hear exaggerated kissing sounds.

“Oh look a cockroach.” Anne says.

“Where?” Becky says, looking down from her bunk bed.

“Is it alive or dead?” Mum asks from the kitchen.

Isaac comes in to exclaim and get rid of it.

“Aw Anne look!” Becky says, “She's being so cute! Get up here and look! She's just laying in my hands! Ophelia, are you tired now? Tired from all that running around? And sleeping in the morning?! Bazooka Jane would never do that.”

Ophelia mews in protest.

“Say please. Say please Ophelia.” Then to Anne: “I make her meow and then I put her down.” She then sets Ophelia down.

“There’s only a slight malfunction.” Bridget says in her fake British accent.

Oh goody.

Playing Star Wars yet again.

Not that that is a bad thing.

It is Star Wars after all.

Peter comes up to Meg on the top bunk, growling and roaring.

“Noooo!!!! Petehl you're scawing me!”

“Oh I'm sorry.” he says.

“Yo sowy?”

“Yes, for scaring you.”

“Fo scawing me?”

“Yeah.”

She leans down and hugs Peter around his neck.

“I wuv yo!” She says and then answers herself. “I wuv yo too!  Can I kiss yo fowhead?”

“Sure.”

I glance over just in time to see her pucker her lips and kiss Peter's forehead.

I nearly died of adorableness overload.

I go to the living room where greetings are thrown this way and that in proper spanglish fashion.

“Morning!”

“Morning.”

“Buenos dias!”

“Buenos dias.”

“Hey!”

“Buenas.”

“Cywano! Do not escape!” Meg say sternly.

“Run for your life!” I call

“Quick Cyrano, bite ‘er then run!” Peter says.

“Stawp escaping!” Meg says.

“Hey Cyrano! Password!” Peter grins and Cyrano promptly licks Meg’s leg.

“There Margaret, now you have to put him down. He did the password.”

Meg doesn't answer us and gets off her chair holding the bunny. She puts the furry animal on the chair and picks up the chair and carries it away.

“Meg, he's gonna escape.” I tell her.

Then Cyrano escapes.

Meg chases him around for a while and gets extremely annoyed when he goes behind a chair.

“Cywano!” She cries.

“Be nice to that bunny.” dad says.

Peter and Becky laugh quietly as they watch Rachel play with Ophelia. Mum listens as Paul talks about a priest in a nearby town. Bridget lounges and frowns as if thinking very hard about something. Dad is getting his praise and worship songs ready for prayers. Meg sits with Cyrano, Isaac is playing something in the corner. Paul and Ms. Bing sit with their baby in a stroller, Douglas and Ninoska share a couch, and I sit in this corner, rocking and writing this all.

I see Ezekiel going to Isaac with a scorpion.

“Isaac!” He says it like ee-sack.

I swat at a fly by my head.

“Look he has a scorpion!!” Guess Who exclaims.

“Isaac, anything he does is not cool, just because he does it.” Peter says drily and we laugh.

“Hey Isaac, make it bite him!” I tease.

“It can't sting it can only bite.”

“I know, that's why I said bite not sting.”

Just now Meg runs up.

“Petehl! Thews a scohpian!!”

Peter gasps in mock astonishment.

“Its ginowmus!”

“That big??”

“Yeah!”

Then she tells me almost the same thing. I add a few screams to make it scarier. Then she keeps walking slowly to me and whispering “scorpion” while I flourish a new scream at the end of each.

“Esthew!! We found a fwog!”

I scream.

“Do you wike baby fwogs?” She ask,

“No!” I yell.

She walks off, as if I’m a lost cause.

Probably am.

Peter and Rachel are gutting and scaling fish.

“I don't want to get cwoser to dose scawy eyes.” Meg says.

“Are you gonna do a fish?” Rachel asks.

“Dunno. I’m gonna have to cook ‘em so hopefully not.”

“You?” Rachel and Peter ask incredulously.

“Well I am lunch person. Aaand I’m a perfecook. Rachel sighs, partly annoyed and partly amused.

5/20/2017

We’re watching the Lego Movie- MY FAVORITE MOVIE EVER BTW.

For some reason my siblings don’t see t as that great.

“Come with me if you wanna not die!”

(just had to add this tiny entry. BECAUSE THE LEGO MOVIE HELLO.)

Entry 12

5/17/2017

-It is literally and figuratively raining cats and dogs around here.

-We got a cat from church, and almost took on six more puppies till mum said no.

-We were all devastated.

-As if eight dogs were a lot!!!

-Ophelia is actually sleeping on my lap now. (the kitten)

-This is probably a bad idea, since it will be me she wakes up to play with at  midnight : thirty-five  yet again.

“Where's Ophelia?!” Isaac exclaims just now, running in the room.

“Here!” I yell over the thunder.

“Where’s Cyrano?!” He exclaims again.

“Dunno!” I yell back.

-He checks under my bed, pulls the little rabbit out and plops her on my lap.

(Note: at this point in time everyone thinks she's a girl. I give up.)

“Can you take care of her?!” He exclaims.

“Fine!” I yell.

-Then he runs off to exclaim at other people.

-Cyrano climbs off my lap and tries to find a way down. I put him on the ground.

-Kids come in and out, all yelling over each other and the rain.

-Every once in awhile Ophelia will wake up and then go back to sleep in a curled position.

-Rachel comes in and tells me:

“Isaac's like: ‘I really want to sit in this water!’ Then a few minutes later he slips in it!”

“Heh!” I laugh in appreciation.

-I think I will write some more now.

later...

-I have a terrible headache. My stomach wants to empty lunch all over my bed, and also it begs me to eat supper.

-I lay in the semi-darkness of my room and tell it to shut up.

-Cyrano messes with something under my bed, and Ophelia growls, purrs, and eats the rest of my toast simultaneously.

-I thought she was fighting with Cyrano at first, but I think she was growling at the flies actually.

-We have so many flies.

-I don't know where they came from, but gawsh they are annoying!!

-We are now waging war on the living flies and the dead flies that accumulate on floors, counters and the dining room table.

-But my head hurts.

-I'm going to read now, since I have nothing better to do and I can’t sleep.

Entry 11

5/14/2017

-So it's 9:30 pm.

-You just had a long, fun, semi-stressful day and now you are zonked. You-

-Okay fine.

-Yes. I'm talking about myself.

-Yeah yeah, you're very smart, now shut up.

(EHH!! BONUS POINTS FOR AWESOME QUOTES)

-And so I says to myself, I says, “I need to take a shower.”

-And myself throws a fit, and lounges on her bed with a distraught air (okay fine, I was reading), and then-

-Decides!

-I am going to take a shower.

-I grab some clothes, take a shower, and then go to bed, the end.

-NOT!!!!

-BECAUSE WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?!?!?? YOU CANNOT JUST TAKE A SHOWER IN THIS HOUSE.

-THERE ARE RULES.

*AND REGULATIONS.

-AND YOU HAVE TO MAKE AN APPOINTMENT AND CHECK WITH ALL THE IMPORTANT MEMBERS OF THE HOUSEHOLD.

-(Aka, everyone)

-So, for some reason this escapes my train of thought EVERY STINKING TIME??!?!?!????

-For the benefit of you ignorant swine, here is what you have to do:

• Check with the bathroom.      Is it decent? Is it empty? Is the light on and working? Do we even have power?!
• Check with the bunny. Is she around? Has she recently used the floor as a public restroom?? Is she skulking in the loo doing this now?!?
• Check with the cat. Is she in the bathroom? Is she being loved and nurtured? Is she still alive? Why do I care so much?!

• Oh I don't.
• She just likes to threaten.
• I also happen to like my life.

• Check with mum. Is now a good time? Do I have a job or sibling to take care of? Is it okay if I add to the laundry?? Is there even a:
• (Check with the) towel? IS IT CLEAN? IS IT AROUND? HOW MANY TIMES HAS IT BEEN USED?? WHY IS IT ON THE FLOOR IN THE BATHROOM?!

• Wait did I even bring a towel?

• DANGIT I FORGOT AGAIN.

• Check with the cockroach. Just in case it decides your foot is soft and warm.

• I AM STILL SHUDDERING.

• Because this happened.

• Check with the shower. Is it currently functioning? Does it have bunny droppings scattered all over? Does it have the shampoo and conditioner? Does it have soap? Is the curtain going to stay up OR NOT?!

BASICALLY JUST BOOK AN APPOINTMENT A MONTH IN ADVANCE.

-Oh and don't forget! After you forget to check all of the above, and end up using a skirt and shirt for a towel, and forget to put on deodorant.

-After you nearly forget to brush your teeth, and get your hair to stop dripping by wrapping it in a scarf, and dry out your ears and your neck (WHICH KEEP GETTING DRIPPED ON), you nearly kill the cat who is sleeping in your bed yet again, and you get your feet clean for what feels like first time in months- dagnabit how is it midnight?!?!?!

Haha jk, its only 10:27.  

• Yikes.
• 
  

Entry 9

4/28/2017

-Just in case you thought my family consisted of angels, here is a story to prove otherwise.

-(Of course, I am an angel, but I can't say the same for the rest of the horde.)

-This morning I did math. It was boring as ever and I kept messing up the timer and I almost had to do more than an hour of math.

-Eww.

-I may or may not have just guessed and hoped it was an hour.

-I started catechism and then got a call from dad.

-Oh.

-Apparently he and mum and Peter all left.

-Thanks for the heads up, y’all.

“Can you make sure the tank doesn't overflow upstairs. Since you're doing school up there, right?”

“Oh. Yeah sure.”

“Okay.” There is a pause. What am I supposed to do again?

“Okay. Bye?” I say, with a look that would usually accompany a dead rat.

“Bye.” he says and hangs up.

-Ookaay… I guess that was right?

(Note: did I mention we found a maggot home under our refrigerator? It was established the carcass of a rat. Biiiig sniff everyone!)

-I do some catechism, and check on the tank a few times. It's got a bit to go.

-Then Meg starts screaming blue murder and I turn to see her slap Isaac on the back.

-She's in tears and her face is covered in dirt and probably some snot thrown into the mix.

-Disgusting.

-I interrogate Isaac and he has some wild story and none of it's his fault and blah di da di da.

-I fix it as best I can and then go back to catechism.

-After a few questions, Meg is crying yet again.

-I go out, sort through it, and go back to school.

-Then I hear this sound.

-Kind of like running wat-

-GOOD GOLLY!!!

-So I run over, turn off the valve, get my arm soaked in the meantime and say

“Dagnabit!” About 5-8 times.

-Douglas was downstairs talking to somebody so he comes up to see what's wrong.

-He surveys the spillage and says in his easy way

“Esta bien.” He says, but I sigh and still feel terrible for not paying attention. “Tranquilo.”

-I make my epic: dang-this-is-a-lot-more-than-you’re-making-it-out-to-be-but-fine-I’ll-calm-down-sure-it’ll-be-fine-why-would-it-be-sarcasm-alert-sarcasm-alert! face.

-Don't believe I could look all that in one facial expression? That's where you're wrong, Scaryman!

-I have an exceptionally gifted face.

-So then Douglas leaves and I do school. Then mum and dad get home and we unload some groceries and then we make lunch.

-Well the kids were making fried eggs and tajatas and fried sweet bananas. Except they started the eggs first- AT ELEVEN O CLOCK.

-For the ignorant among you, eleven is waaay too early to start eggs for lunch.

-So I start making the tajatas by warming the oil, ordering the twerps to get the bananas for me, then I peel them, getting my hands ALL sticky in the process- despite putting oil on my hands beforehand.

-Oh! Fun story, I started to light the stove with a match when I realized that I still had oil dripping from my hands.

-Yeah maybe not such a brilliant idea?

-So then I sliced the bananas and then fried them in the oil.

-Becky cut up the sweet bananas and fried hers in the small skillet and then put them in a bowl with sugar poured over the top.

-Yumm.

-A great commotion comes from the living room area, and mum comes in with Meg in her arms and Meg's face is bleeding and there is a crowd of kids all around her and dad is there and Meg is crying and mum is telling someone to get a rag and dad is telling someone else to get some ice and lots of people are wondering what the heck just happened.

-I was one of these, and also looking for a rag.

-Apparently there was a little fight and a door got in the way and now Meg's going to have a black eye for a bit.

-I return to my tajatas, which are getting rather burnt, and mum puts arnica on Meg's face, and a certain child is crying and feeling extremely evil for causing this pain.

(Note: excuse you. Stop wondering which child it was. What are you, mean? Morbid? Cruel?Something else starting with M?)

I dropped more banana into the scalding oil and get a drop on the tip of my finger.

I also thought about covering the eggs when I remembered the tajadas and rushed over.

I stubbed my toe on the way over on the cement step.

I recently stubbed it, and it was bleeding like crazy.

So I screech

“Dumb horsey!”

My siblings show their sympathy by laughing.

I laugh too, and then frantically dump the tajadas into the aluminum pan.

A minute or so later, I feel something sticky and wet on my foot.

I look down, all prepared to be stepping on avocado or banana or butter.

But there's not really anything, I lift my foot and put it somewhere else, and see a tiny puddle of red liquid.

Ah.

Then I laugh and tell the kids I murdered my foot again, and can they watch the tajadas?

Everyone is busy in their own pursuits and don't answer, so I yell it again and then hobble to the bathroom to bind up my foot.

After I clean it, Becky brings me a band aid, and then I return to the kitchen.

“Did you guys watch the tajadas?” I ask

“No!” “Yes!” Numerous people call out joyfully at the same time.

The pan has new tajatas in it.

“Thanks, guys.”

Then I look in the pan and see a pile of burnt tajatas in one corner.

“Guys!”

Peter laughs.

“We told you we didn't watch it.”

“I thought you were kidding!”

They laugh.

A bit later, Rebeckah’s foot gets burnt by oil, and Peter scoops her up and carries her to the dining room to get ice on it.

Isaac wants to tell mum all about everyone's injuries but I tell him not to. She has enough with laundry to do, Meg to take care of, children to feed, school to administer and she probably has a headache!

But when she comes downstairs, Isaac tells her immediately.

Boy!

The niece of a certain monk (in a certain Abbey, in Kansas City) lives here in Nicaragua, and she came to visit us.

She is a nice girl. She has short curly blond hair up in a ponytail. She is wearing her uniform for her job- which is teaching, incidentally.

We shook hands at the introductory state of our encounter.

“I'm Sarah.” She says. She has a nice firm grip, but not too hard. She seems completely at ease with all of us, yet a little part of her is awed I think.

I tend to have that effect on people.

She has a nice smile and she doesn't laugh often, but when she does, you notice.

And it's not that it's a loud laugh or peculiar in any way. It's just… true.

True happiness.

She's completely comfortable with herself and I like that. She isn't necessarily pretty, or ugly but the way she carries herself and the way she acts around us makes her attractive.

She would have no trouble finding a nice man- and probably a sarcastic gentleman at that!

Lucky.

We sit in the living room and talk.

They exchange backstory and she asks questions right to the point. She doesn't best around the bush, this girl.

When dad makes a joke (the actual joke escapes my memory at this time) she snorts and slaps her knee and I feel like cheering.

I love snort-laughers and knee-slappers!

They're my kind of people.

The kind of people who love a good joke and usually tell the best jokes and even if they're not funny- you laugh because you have no choice.

It's a contagion.

She loves dad's home-roasted coffee, and drinks two whole cups.

I watched her closely to see if she would just pretend to like it, but she drank it all and had a second cup with supper.

She is an open book at times, yet I feel like she has a deeper heart and understanding of the world and it's wiles.

She's quite a chum. I have a feeling this won't be our last meeting.